I’m Not Sure If I Care About Your Opinion…Yet.

We’ve all heard that you shouldn’t talk about politics or religion on the first few dates.  But I suggest taking it even further:  talk to each other as little as possible in the beginning. (And no, that doesn’t mean spend the whole time making out in the back seat of a car! Get your mind out the gutter!)

See, I’m a believer that talk is cheap.  I think the worst first dates possible are the standard ones: get a cup of coffee, grab a few drinks, or have dinner together.  If you’re trying to get to know someone and figure out if they’re a good match, a good life partner, or someone who you can accept ‘as-is,’ talking will not help you determine that. What we all want in a romantic partner is someone who is considerate, kind, someone you can laugh with,  and someone who makes you feel special.  Words aren’t necessary for any of that.

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Life is about action! Holding hands, paying bills, cleaning the house, going to work, laughing, walking the dog, doing laundry, sharing moments with loved ones.  So when it comes time to plan your date with that possible someone special, get active!  Go walking, hiking, biking, rollerskating (which is a great throwback romantic date by the way), cooking, bowling, or going to the batting cage.

After all, the only time a person’s opinions and feelings really become important is if you already feel they’re special. So give them room to become special! And have fun while you’re at it.

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I am a thirty-something geologist that is embarking on the scariest adventure to-date: I am trying to have healthy adult relationships. Let me give you a brief history. I went away to college at 16 years old, and have not lived in the same state as my family since then...until now. I have lived different places every four to five years. I've recently moved to Florida to be close to my family and make a career change. I plan on this being the last move. Let me tell you a little about me. I am biracial and the first of my family to finish college. I have daddy issues. I have a congenital heart defect. I am committed to making a positive impact on the world, but realize I have to do that for myself first. I am confused, and 100% certain about it. This is my "Captain's Log" as I cruise through this uncharted territory. Hopefully, we can enjoy the ride together and have some laughs.