You finally found someone you don’t find repulsive, trust enough to give your personal information to, and who didn’t offend you in the first five minutes of conversation. So now, what do you do? How do you share who you are without coming off as pompous or, even worse, desperate?
Here are five helpful tips to help you enjoy a first date instead of dread it:
1. Ditch the job interview.
Does it matter where you went to college or where you work? Nope. Jerks and gems exist at every university and every business. Remember this person is a potential life partner, not business partner. Instead, ask them what they want to be when they grow up. It’s a playful way of learning about their dreams and aspirations and it allows them to share their passions with you. That’s what you were really after anyway, wasn’t it?
2. Stay present.
Everyone has a story to tell. It can be a heart-wrenching story of triumph, a sobering story of obstacles, or even a funny light-hearted story filled with shenanigans. But your story-telling turns your date into a spectator, not a participant. Instead of rehashing the good ol’ college days, talk about how much you love Jimmy Fallon or how you secretly hate yoga. That way they get a better sense of who you are now.
3. Gamble, play dirty, and cheat!
Competition gets the testosterone fired up – and that makes everyone feel sexier – so go bowling, play pool or head out to an arcade. Game-playing also helps you avoid talking about your job, your 5-year plan, why you’re still single, and what happened in your last relationship. You’ll also learn if your date is a team player, sore loser, rule breaker, or perfectionist. It can be a sneak peek into a person’s value system. Plus, if the date’s going well you can place a wager. Maybe the winner gets a kiss?
4. Sharing is caring.
Barney was right. When you’re on your date, remember to share. Share who you really are. Share conversation time with your date. Even share your food. Sharing bonds people together. Plus, you want to know if the two of you can play nicely together.
5. And of course, K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Stupid).
A first date can be nerve-racking. How do I look? How should I smile? Can they see my gut? Should I open the car door for her? Am I talking too much? Did I just laugh too hard? Is there food on my teeth? All of this can be exhausting and it can take the fun out of what could be a fun first date. Instead, focus on the only question that matters: Am I having a good time? It’s just that simple. Connect with your feelings and stop worrying about all the things you can’t control.
If you use any of these tips, tell us about how it went! We want to hear from you.Image courtesy of -Marcus- / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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