I am slightly oblivious to the flow of a traditional date and even the configuration of a relationship. It’s no secret to those that know me that I haven’t had a serious relationship for some time (the actual time is not relevant) . I did however, make a very serious attempt at a monogamous, honest, and meaningful relationship last year which failed miserably – the attempt AND the relationship.
Under these unfortunate circumstances, I made the decision to take myself off the market to allow time to reflect on my wrongdoings, if any. I went as far as dissecting our dates. After much deliberation, I have come to the realization that one of us didn’t make an effort, so the “relationship” didn’t have four legs to stand on.
Looking back, we really never had a “traditional” date. It may be difficult to comprehend exactly what I mean by “traditional”, so allow me to enlighten you… In a nutshell; he picks you up, takes you out to dinner, you share a bottle of wine and a few laughs, and then he drives you home, while you fumble with your house keys – purposely – he leans in for the highly anticipated good-night kiss.
The old fashion typical date may have happened more so in the last century or in Hollywood movies, because in Hollywood everything is thought out and skewed to engage viewers, but is this really reality?
We live in a world where sex on the first date is not uncommon, people meet on an online dating site more so than they do in person, and we text more than we talk face to face. The conventional date has now become, shall we say, unconventional.
Relationships have derived from one night stands and some marriages end in divorce because of Facebook. The relationship world as we know it has changed; we can reject the idea in an effort to remain more traditional, or we can move towards acceptance. After all, with changes happening more frequently than a woman changes her shoes, we must adapt and overcome in most situations, why not in dating and relationships?
That said, this doesn’t mean that you have to throw old fashioned relationships, or dates, out the window. There are unwritten rules that we must comply to if we do, in fact, want to put our best foot forward, earn respect, and develop a more meaningful long term relationship.It’s as simple as making an effort to impress and putting some thought and creativity into your dates. Whether you have been on one or fifteen dates with this person, nothing says “I like you, kinda… just a little” than a simple effort that shows your interest in the other person.
We live in a fast-paced, tech-, and social media-savvy world, a place where you can’t fart sideways on Sunday morning without everyone knowing about it and posting it online. Practicing simple delayed gratification is excruciatingly painful, but its reward is the most satisfying.
That’s not to say that you may not encounter the occasional man who will pursue you for his own selfish reason; thankfully, the universe has a way of weeding those douche bags and exposing them to scrutiny. By allowing both parties to expose themselves, with time you’ll weed out the bad ones and clearly see the good.
Take the time to befriend one another, then decide your favorite things to do and places to go, only then will you truly be able to figure out what both of you may enjoy the most and have more fun doing it.Image courtesy of arztsamui / FreeDigitalPhotos.net