You Want A Relationship, But Are You Really Ready For One?

When it comes to dating and relationships, I am a huge advocate of the “never settle for less” rule.  I believe that no individual should lower their standards for the sake of being with another person.  But, there is also a huge difference between not wanting to settle for just anyone versus being flat-out picky.

Here’s an example of what I mean:

One of my sisters told me that she will not date a man who watches football, simply because she despises the sport so much.  I had a great laugh hearing this.  I then asked her, “You couldn’t possibly be serious, right?”  She went on to say, “I am dead serious. I need a lot of attention, and him watching a game for hours does not include me!”.  I know, I know – I was just as dumbfounded, too.

This admission,  along with the many comments I often see on my twitter timeline from people in general, lets me know that most of us clearly have this dating game all wrong.  Granted, there is no official rule book to it, but adding irrelevant nonsense to the equation and having ridiculously high standards will more than likely eliminate Mr./Ms. Right.  Hence, the reason you can’t seem to find your match.

Having realistic standards will bring more possible candidates into the picture.  If you can’t meet your own requirements, what makes you think someone else can?

Too many women hope to find a man who is good-looking, has a great job, makes loads of money, drives a nice car, owns his own house etc.  The list is endless!   There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, but ONLY if you are coming to the table with similar attributes.

When it comes to dating, what’s a deal breaker for you?

Some reasonable deal breakers may include:

  • I won’t date a person who has children.
  • I will not date a person who doesn’t have anything going for themselves.
  • I can’t date a person who is extremely jealous.

Discussing topics such as these early on are vital, because it will more than likely cause strain on your union as things progress.  So, you need to know exactly what you are looking for (and not looking for) in a partner!

Once you’ve snagged a special someone whom you’ve decided to commit to, you must learn how to compromise.  This is a huge challenge for must people.  It is also much easier when you learn how to choose your battles wisely.  Not every issue is worth an argument.  Sometimes, you should agree to disagree, and keep moving forward together.

All this being said, most of us have already recognized that relationships certainly are not one of the easiest experiences in life.  If you are not ready for the battle, it’s okay.  Take your time, and please do not be afraid of being single.  Enjoy your “me time”,  get comfortable with yourself, and fall in love with who you are before attempting to include someone else in your life.

 Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici /
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