Five Tips For Dating A Smart Woman

So you’ve noticed she reads books over her lunch, likes music and art and has little patience for jerks. It’s all as intimidating as hell, but you are intrigued anyway. What to do to avoid making a fool of yourself? Here are some tips that might be helpful.

1. Don’t Pretend To Know Stuff You Don’t

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Profess a willingness to be instructed

Chances are, she’ll see right through you.   She’s probably actually read those books . If you don’t know what she’s talking about, admit so, humbly, and profess a willingness to be instructed.  You might learn something –  and you might even enjoy the conversation on its own merits.  Once you get home, remember Google is your friend.  She’ll be pleased you took the time and trouble to find out more about the subject.

2. Never Assume She Can’t Do Something

It’s all very well to be gallant and offer to change her flat tire, especially if she’s not dressed for kneeling on the road. Just don’t assume she can’t do it herself.  You might end up getting whacked over the head with a pink tire iron.

3. Never Talk Down to Her

This actually applies to every woman, of any age.  Most people don’t take condescension very well, and are excellent at detecting it. Address her as your intellectual equal, especially if you suspect she’s smarter than you are.  If your vocabulary consists mostly of grunts and swearing, you might want to consider upgrading yourself before you try talking to her.

4. Be Yourself

You may feel that you aren’t interesting enough for her, but you might be surprised.  Talk about the things that interest you, and listen to what interests her, and see if you can find any overlap.  It’s probably not all Schopenhauer and Chopin in her life, and probably not all football and beer in yours.  Exploring new things together can be fun.

5. Don’t be Intimidated

Finally, remember that smart women need love just like everybody else. If you are honest, caring and vulnerable – she’ll melt. Trust me.

Photo credit: Shutterstock.


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I'm a writer, editor, blogger and the Queen of Re-Invention. I've been a research scientist, a university instructor and a high school teacher. I was born in Israel, raised partly in the United States, educated in the Netherlands, and am now busy raising three amazing people in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada.