1. He finds it daunting.
When V-Day rolls around each year, most of our guys feel set up for failure. Whatever he does has to be better than last year—and not just a bit of an upgrade—better in every way. If he’s somewhat romantic during the rest of the year, this holiday sets the bar even higher.
Does your man achieve mixed results in the romance department? Then Valentine’s Day represents an even greater challenge and he’s trying to exercise skills outside his wheelhouse. Guys hate being graded and come February, they’re competing with every Rom Com ever created.
What to do: Give him a break. Intentionally praise his successes and give him the benefit of the doubt. Some effort is way better than none at all.
2. He really can’t read your mind.
Wouldn’t it be great if our men had a sixth sense?! They could come home and immediately pick up on how we were feeling, what we’re thinking, and what we want them to do about it. Unfortunately, Valentine’s Day doesn’t bestow any super powers. Not only that, but most of the time they’re not good at remembering things or picking up on hints either.
What to do: Find a sweet, non-stressful time (aka well in advance) to share what you’d like to see happen on Valentine’s Day.
- I’d love it if we went somewhere fancy for dinner, you know, the kind of restaurant that needs reservations.
- I think it’d be fun if you surprised me with something like [fill in the blank].
- It’d speak love to me if we could…
Your man will be grateful for your help and you’ll both have a more enjoyable Valentine’s Day experience.
3. He wishes he had a day-of-love too.
Valentine’s Day is all about the ladies. And we love it! But consider how you can romance your man too. Maybe Saturday the 15th is his day with junk food, sports games, and a pass on weekend chores. Or perhaps you can share the holiday by mixing in activities you both enjoy.
And while you’re planning his roMANtic day, don’t overlook physical intimacy. Yes, men often have a stronger sex drive. But in his eyes, your intimate times together strengthen your connection and relationship as a whole. The emotional release and intimacy most women achieve through talking and sharing, men achieve through the marriage bed.
4. He receives respect as love.
This one rocked my world—and my marriage. Men desire respect to the same degree women desire love. All the mushy love stuff doesn’t touch his heart in the same way it ministers to yours.
What to do: Create a list of 3-5 things you genuinely respect about your husband. Make a point of sharing these with him, all at once or spread throughout the day. You’ll be amazed at how he responds.
- I respect your work ethic and I’m grateful for how you provide for our family.
- I admire the way you treat people.
- I respect you and I’m grateful that you want to make me happy.
If you want to learn more on this topic, check out this amazing book Love and Respect.
5. He wants to show you love his way.
Most of us have a standardized view of Valentine’s Day romance—candles, champagne, flowers, and a fancy dinner. But I challenge anyone to show me a standardized relationship. They don’t exist. Your husband wants to show you love in a way that is unique to him, to you, and to your connection. Let him. In fact, encourage him to do so.
Use these five secrets to break free of the commercialized V-day experience and you’ll be surprised at the memories you create.
What are some of your favorite Valentine’s Day Memories with your spouse?
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