My Number One Mood Killer (Which Girls Seem To Do) During A Date

I’ve been told that I focus too much on what guys do wrong on dates and I need to give a more balanced criticism of BOTH genders. So, in the spirit of fairness and constructive criticism I thought I’d share one of my biggest bug bears regarding females in a date setting.

My No.1 PP (pet peeve) is…

Using your phone as if there isn’t someone sitting across from you!

Now before I hear a universal scream of “GUYS do that too!”,  I’d like to say that I don’t go out on dates with guys and so I wouldn’t know.  I just know that I’ve been out on a couple of dates over the years with girls, and nearly ALL have done this!

Picture the scene:  Two beautiful people sitting across from one another, and things are going great. Conversation is flowing easily, both parties are laughing and there’s a real feeling of connection.

date going great

You’re finding out you both like the same things, and just when you think you have the lady’s full attention, she whips out her mobile and starts replying to a newly received text, IM, or whatever these modern mini-computers allow you to do these days.

And POOF!  Just like that, the magical ambience is gone.

The lady has confirmed that she is a slave to ModTech to such a degree she can’t carry on a live conversation without yielding to its electronic embrace.  The only thing I could possibly liken this phenomenon to is when a guy is staring at a woman’s boobs in the most blatant way possible; when it’s clear his attention is not on her face or anything which is coming out of her mouth.  Makes you feel about two feet tall, right?


And I do concede…maybe I’m just awfully boring company.  But, to the degree the woman has no choice but to seek refuge from the storm of boredom by messaging her friend on how my looks are good but everything else sucks?  Or maybe get in a round of Angry Birds before she’s forced to drive a fork into her eye socket in a desperate attempt to end the lack of stimulating conversation?

OH C’MON!  The reality is you are likely expecting me to pay for this date.  The least you can do is to pay me some respect and attention and give us both a chance to find out a little bit about the other person.

There may be a few readers who think that the above scenario is normal in this modern age…something which I must contest.

It may well be the case there are females who can multitask, but let me take a second or two explain the perception that it creates…

Why it’s bad

It gives the impression the other person is uninteresting and unworthy of your full attention and time (and if you’re on your phone, you are NOT giving your full attention).

If a date is designed to get to know another person, does allowing yourself to be distracted really help or give a positive impression?  Women often assume a guy wants to go on a second date with them; why would he if she can’t carry on a conversation without pressing the buttons of an inanimate object?  Shouldn’t she want to impress him in the same way he wants to impress her?

What I’m saying is

Mobile phones are seen more so as extensions of ourselves than machines we keep in our pocket.   There’s absolutely nothing wrong in using one to share photos of a past holiday with your date, to take down the other person’s number, to check the time, or even to take a quick look on FB if the other person gets up to go to the bathroom.

It’s the timing that matters!  Avoid whipping it out if the conversation is gaining depth.  Don’t take a call unless you think it could be an emergency.  Doing so shows you are not present in mind even though you are there in body.  It is rude – and at worst can be an absolute mood killer.

Or am I just too uptight?

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I write, which helps give voice to all the politically incorrect opinions bubbling below the surface of what is known as my big mouth. I've a deep love for reading, writing and learning things of interest. I've always been interested in figuring out what makes people tick and how interpersonal relationships work; particularly between genders and in a romantic setting. I love the idea of sharing what knowledge I have as well as picking up new knowledge in the process. Doing so will help make us all better partners for our partners.