In the world of online dating, the profile is the first chance an online dater has to nab you with their sales pitch and snare a first date. If you are an online dating novice, it can seem like there is an endless number of profiles which are compatible with yours and it can all be just a little overwhelming.
So how do you weed out the duds which may be lurking beneath decent-enough-looking profiles? Keep an eye out for these red flags so you can dodge them easily.
Anyone who begins their profile with some disparaging comments about an ex, a recap of relationship disasters or a litany of attributes they DON’T want is still carrying more than a little baggage from the past. If those experiences are still so much at the forefront of their minds that they go to print with it in their online dating profile, click on by until you find someone who is speaking positively about what they DO want from a relationship.
Given many online dating profiles have a text-based section as well as lists of desired attributes, its easy for someone who is trying to portray a specific view of themselves to slip up with a little inconsistency. Read the full profile, review the attributes they use to describe themselves and those they want in a partner and ensure they all add up. Mixed messages about the qualities they are looking for in a date, the type of relationship they want, and whether or not children can be a part of the plan are all instant red flags about the person’s authenticity. Starting out like that is a challenge to establishing an honest relationship. Stick to those with a profile that rings true from all angles.
Values that don’t match your own
Sounds really obvious right? But trust your gut when you read through a profile. Pay attention to whether that person really shares your own values. Don’t be tempted to overlook the challenging areas with the view that you’ll be able to change them down the track. You are looking for a relationship, not a project.
An empty profile
Beware the blank profile! These are the ones where the dater has tried to skate through by filling in the bare minimum of fields. Would you want to spend time with someone who has so little investment in the process that they are unwilling to fill in anything more than the mandatory fields? Are they assuming that posting a photo is all that they need to do? Move on to someone who has at least invested a little time in telling you about themselves and is likely to do the same in establishing a relationship.
Above all, hang in there. The online dating world is now one of the biggest drivers of relationship success stories and if you persist, you’ll develop a strong red-flag detector and move closer to becoming one of those success stories.Header image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net Body image courtesy of lamnee / FreeDigitalPhotos.net