All guys deserve a chance to get a decent idea of how to behave on their dates! It occurred to me that regardless of how much we learn, we (as a gender) still don’t know a single thing about pushing a female’s buttons to ensure a first date goes smoothly.
So, in the words of the once legendary Mel Gibson: “What do women want?” The answer? “No idea!” It depends on the day and mood a woman is in; and even when you get it sussed she’ll likely change her mind (which is entirely her prerogative). Not a great answer but it is an honest one.
So how do you find out? Well, I did what any man would do with an ounce of sense in his head: I asked a few dozen ladies (some who were single and some were attached) to share a few Dos and Don’ts of how a man should conduct himself in a first date setting. The result was some very useful tips for the clueless entity we call Man.
Some of what I heard was self-explanatory, but other tips were worth particular note, so keep reading to spy the inside of a woman’s mind…
1. Compliment her, but not too much!
It can get uncomfortable for a lady to accept compliments if she constantly gets showered with them. Give no more than two for the date. Compliment her on how nice she looks when you first see her, (as she’ll likely have put a considerable amount of time into getting ready) and then again at the end of the date (however the last compliment should be about how positive and fun it was to be in her company as opposed to her appearance…but only say the former if it’s true!)
2. Be decisive and take charge
Open the door for her, order the drinks etc. If as the man, the woman has given you free reign to take her somewhere or make a major decision on the direction of the evening, you sure as heck better use the opportunity! If she’s on the fence then just make a decision! Doing so even if it’s not the ideal one in her mind is better than triple checking with her what she’d like to do. She’s left you with the decision and as the one with the penis it’s your duty to bear the responsibility for good or ill.
3. Take an interest in her
And when I say her, I mean the individual, not just what you see. Look her in the eyes and hold her gaze. Let her see that her words are holding your attention. Ask her questions that show you’ve a genuine interest as opposed to sounding interrogatory. When you focus on what she’s saying as opposed to simply waiting for your turn to speak, conversation will flow all the more naturally.
Ladies, please understand that these things do not necessarily come naturally to a man, so please be patient if you can see a man is trying (or struggling). And gentlemen, if you honestly don’t have a genuine interest in the woman you’re on a date with, you need to ask yourself why you’re there in the first place or change your attitude and try hard to cultivate some.
4. Offer to pay for the food/drink if you go out to eat (or anything else that costs money)
Most women expect a man to pay on the first date, and even if a woman is prepared to pay for herself, it’s a good start to offer. Further, be prepared to let her pay for herself if she insists; don’t ram your chivalry down her throat!
5. Offer to see her home safe
This may mean walking her to her door or seeing her to her car, but the vital point here is to offer. No matter if the date went well or not, offering shows you care and gives her the option of choosing what she’d prefer. Respect her wish if she opts to make the journey alone (a second date might be unlikely if this is the case).
So there you have it; and if through reading this article, a pair of people enjoy each other’s company who would’ve otherwise experienced awkwardness, unease and even repulsion toward one another then I’ve done my job!
Check back soon for the next honest (and hopefully fun filled post).
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- Five Dos For A First Date (Or Any Date) That All Men Should Know - September 27, 2013